Tuesday, July 20, 2010

In the event of Loss.

Lately strange events has been taking place, striking unwanted emotions we hoped so much to never endure. I have always imagined what it would feel like having to deal with time and the way it claim lives. With age, comes the moment where we would have to mark unexpected endings. Everyday we tell ourselves to live as if there will be no tomorrow, and so we react by fulfilling our desire and dreams.
But then the day comes where we witness the ones we care for, face the pain of loss. Standing by their sides, you mourn in silence for the end of one life. How do they breathe through the days with the mysterious feeling of emptiness?How does it feel to wake up and think that you can no longer have contact with that one person?
We console ourselves to be strong,to fight for survival because that is a part of living. Is it the art of forgetting that helps us get by? Epiphanies that we discover to keep us moving along.
Eventually,we get weak and find reasons to have that special one as a part of who we are. Companionship, becomes a technique to overcome loneliness. Even though we secretly know that we'd really all end up dying alone anyway, then why do we bother to make all these efforts to Love? It's really strange to see how these mechanisms work within our senses.
I find far too many moments where I become extremely uncertain to what i know, or at least what I think I know. Perhaps this is what growing up really is all about- discoveries for more of the unknown, realizations with constant amendments to its Truth.
Is there really a truth out there anyway? The problem with such ambiguity is that you take on any journey that lies ahead, following a flow that makes sense at present time. There shall be no right or wrong to decisions, but instead consequences that you take on with neutral judgment.
Many times I think I am crazy, but then I don't even know what crazy should really mean. But I do feel this high frequency of emotions, triggering every part of my 'sanity', and traveling through realities that I know nothing of.
Is it all merely a state of mind?

Penha, Brazil 2010