Monday, August 6, 2007

Rant about Loneliness.

As you get older..
You find yourself getting more and more familiar with what it means to be alone..
Could it be that due this fear of isolation, people then resort to marriage..?
that way, you will always have someone beside you to wake up to..
someone physically present within the vicinity...
so that you will never have to feel the emptiness
or the quietness you indulge in
all that's visible is the voices in your head and heart..

After an enlightening conversation the other day with NH,I realized that in so many ways....
there are people out there who goes through the same shit as you do..(duh)
i mean I've always known that but its funny when she said,"The 200 voices in my head..."

*random*

What does it mean to be alone anyway?
We know of countless individuals out there in this world who thinks that they are lonely..
who feels lonely..
If you think of it in a large scale,in comparison to the population on this planet.
shit.
you are nothing.

But when you look at the context of your existence within this globe.
hmm...maybe.
maybe, you are not alone.

The only way to sort of make yourself feel better is by creating close ties within your surrounding.
within what you know and who you know.
create your own little world.
that way,you should never feel lonely because you have a 'world' in which your existence is visible.

but who are we bull-shitting right?
Lets see..
after your mamak sessions at 1am in the morning.
or your crazy night-out in the town at 3am..
or your yam-cha session..
whatever session you have with other people..
in the end of the day...you retreat..
go home..
in your room.

*cricket*cricket*

Don't get me wrong.
Quiet + alone-time is NECESSARY.
But i believe there are people out there who have too much of it.
whereby being alone is not really their choice anymore.

as i said..
getting older not only means getting more experienced and wiser..
it also means getting weaker..
fear of life.
fear of the end.

Fear of being alone.
Slowly...you find that your life goal changes..
You go for simplified things like security.

Not so much of a big hero anymore,huh?

what a pointless post.

4 comments:

nadzirahashim said...

i love my little world. but i also hate being ignorant to the rest of the world. DILLEMA wey! and p.s we shouldn't be afraid to be alone because at the end of the day, we die alone.

Rauf Fadzilla said...

how profound
hmnnn *ponders*

Anonymous said...

This post seems to also refer to rejection and falling out of relationships aswell rather than just loneliness...uh, alone.

Loneliness in it's plain context in my own opinion, is not something thats forced upon you to live with. Theres always a choice to fill in those time gaps with 'something' before you start noticing that talking to yourself has become awfully dull to the brink of going senile.

Unless you're a quiet person by nature, then thats a different thing. But don't you think even the 'loneliest' looking of people somehow can't completely detach themselves from reality? Its likely the internet that they'll turn to. Hey, doesn't that count as some form of interaction itself - the intangible sorts? Hell, yeah.

Like how you pointed out how insignificant one might feel in sometimes. But oh, don't we all have our roles to play on this huge stage(earth, itself)? Who's gonna manage the taxes?, who's going to lead others?, who's going to clean the public ....toilets? Shouldn't we feel content enough that we at least have some relevance to others?

Its funny how some people with siblings envy and bemoan the fact that their friends who are single children have all the fun to themselves. Boy, does being the only child(for myself) suck sometimes but it does have its merits.

So instead of risk paying a visit and making our relatives fork out a large sum for our psychiatric meds and personal assylum space, lets say we take a step out of the comfort zone, eh?

This doesn't count as a 'pointless' entry but as a matter of fact, you have in some way ruled out that 'no man is an island'.

Good one.

- Ian

Anonymous said...

Solitude is independence!!!!

=D