Music re-Discovery

We find different ways to collect music from various sources,only to find ourselves stuck in a situation where you no longer know what you want to listen to. It amazes me to how my gallery of heard and unheard melodies had been unsatisfying for the past weeks. Every time I find something new, which is fairly often, it had not stuck around as long as I wished it would.
Last night, I rediscovered music that shook me to the core.
And I'm listening to them right about now. Call me dramatic, but I get this crazy urge to just break-out into tears just by listening to my new found discovery. I'm so happy and I don't have the words for it and even the weak reaction of 'sharing with the other' is not gonna help. because there's just something about these tunes that speaks to my soul. And excuse my exaggeration, but I'm grateful for this relief.
I can't pretend that these words don't sound corny, but I'm even smiling as I'm typing.
AHHhHhhhhhhh.................~

Rewind,please?

I wonder, what is it about spreading our arms that resembles this sense of 'freedom'? It's amazing how this action tends to accommodate this undefined feeling we encounter on those rare moments.

I miss it :)

Tranquilized.

Lately it feels as though I'm living in a vacuum. There are these moments where I engage myself into thinking that I'm on an agenda. That I have something worth pursuing in these seconds and minutes that are supposedly precious. I'm conscious of the fact that it's half past a year and I'm not quite sure where the months had gone to. No doubt 2010 is not something I'm looking forward to. Not because of cynicism really,but as it is, its even difficult to tie down something to look forward to in the next week. All these prep talk of self-realization and acceptance is really not the point. On one hand it seems as though you're living in the past guarded by denial while on the other, you're just stranded when you don't design goals to reach for.
If I could make a report to show the number of situations that reminded me of my uncertainties, it'd probably be a substantial one. Ironically, I'm suppose to be at the stage where I'm wary of my responsibilities to my future.
Well,I'm sorry but It's still bleak.
They are saying that I'm a wishful thinker and that soon enough, I'll be long gone from this phase.
And when I defend my standings, I get thrown back with a sympathetic expression and those I-know-something-you-don't-know-smile, "yeah...We'll see".
I've identified the cause to these never-ending wanders of mine. Everything else becomes a problem when the very core of your believe does not recognize the meaning to what is right and wrong. When everything is justified as questionable, you're basically doomed.
Ofcourse It's easier to believe! Ofcourse!
They are starting to notice that I think everything is an illusion. And as i laugh along with the humour of that perception, I can't help but overhear the voices of worry inside.
This is my battle to deal with perhaps, and as long as I can distinguish the differences and hold up this way of life, I'll be okay.

I hope your Happy..

..because after all, that IS the point,right? You choose to be alone in order to obtain ultimate freedom in making uncompromisable decisions. To have the liberty to decide solely based on the self, without having to worry about emotions tied to the other. Our supposed prime time is NOW, and if we don't make it happen while we're capable of it, we'd have to wait on something so ambiguous that may end before u even know it.
The sacrifice made is kept inside guided by this mentality that 'its for the better'. Really. And eventually you evolve according to those thoughts and just, make it work. That's our ability to survive, and more importantly, to progress.
So don't wait around for the 'what ifs' that makes it all blurry and just move forward. Any second you develop a sense of doubt, you make sure you run faster to that direction, with all your might and will.
And if you crash,
you'd probably tumble back down between laughter and tears. You decide what it should mean to you.
In the end of the day, a choice you had to make is all you ever have to deal with. Everything after should be a follow up until you reach another junction that requires another judgment from you.