So How do u want to Live?

Have you ever reached that point in life,where you begin to worry about the insufficiency of Time?
It feels almost like a dilemma, where your uncertainties question the rationale you built as a reason to live. Not merely live, but to live in the best way you could, as well as you can, to endure a sense of satisfaction. It's a feeling of reward when achievements are made.
What if you had always felt matured and wary of your entire being ever since you were born. You were absolutely conscious of every experience until the very day today.
But then suddenly, when you think about tomorrow, and the after years that you have no control of, you can't help but feel hopeless. Not necessarily the negative kind, but rather the ambiguous nausea you get when faced with a situation that you cannot grasp onto. Because it is simply beyond your control.
I'm not going to lie, growing older scares me.
Maybe not so much the numbers, but just the fact that you've lived so much that you're just overwhelmed.
Sometimes far too extreme for the emotions to handle.
I can't help but question, will I have to look back someday to something great that I had let go off? That I had succumb to 'reality' because of all these rules and logic to how the chronology of life events are suppose to be? Had I been too weak that I refused to follow my instincts? It seems that when tied down to a monotonous flow, you get stuck into these recycled thoughts.
Do you ever look to your parents or the othersm and secretly hope that you will never end up like them?
Not because you're insulting their ways, but you'd just rather not end up not knowing how to believe. These state of limbos force you to make sure that you make the best decisions. Choices you perceive as circumstances that you're willing to accept.
Are you going to forget to tell yourself how to live through desires?