Your Evil Soul

These pills aren't working anymore
My guts are spilling out onto the floor
of a nightmare you wouldn't believe
of a nightmare you could not conceive of
You're floating above my head
There are words carved in my chest
and they said,
"Could somebody show me the kind of affection
that you only see in the movies, you know what I mean"

I will suck the elixir from your fingertips
Until I feel my head starts caving in
My mouth will overflow with your evil soul
And I'll be convulsing for days in this hole
Bubbling at the lips that you used to love to kiss
Well, I think I'm trying to wake up, but I can't

These pills aren't working anymore
My eyes are gouged out and rolling under the door
It blacks out the nightmare you wouldn't believe
a nightmare you could not conceive of

You're floating above my head
There are words carved in my chest
and they said,
"Could somebody show me the kind of affection
that you only see in the movies, you know what I mean... you know what I mean"

I will suck the elixir from your fingertips
Until I feel my head starts caving in
My mouth will overflow with your evil soul
And I'll be convulsing for days in this hole
Bubbling at the lips

I know you never meant to do everything you put me through
It's okay I forgive you
Just know that when you see me cringe sometimes
I'm trying to rid the poison from my mind

I know you never meant to do everything you put me through
It's okay I forgive you
Just know that when you see me cringe sometimes
I'm trying to rid the poison from my mind

I will suck the elixir from your fingertips
Until I feel my head starts caving in
My mouth will overflow with your evil soul
And I'll be convulsing for days in this hole

*its just a song..

The Girl from Ipanema

It begins,and sweeps you off your feet..Takes you far away..I imagine a beach again,during Late sunset...Not too dark,not too bright..I see candles floating..I see vibrant and sexy colours..I see happy smiles..Genuine smiles that speaks serenity..I see body movements..swaying..Curling your toes beneath the warmth of the sand..I see beauty..The smell of the salty sea..The breeze..I see Life.Away from the hustle.Distant traffic nuisance..I see my imaginations.

"Old Newspaper, Old newspaper"

Why is it that every time the 'old newspaper' truck passes by the neighbourhood...dogs start to howl?
I mean,is it just me or is it true that there's a distinctive pattern in these dog howling?
Is there some sort of creepy message that come from that "old newspaper,sai tau po chi,surat khabar lama" tune??(another question: how come they don't mention in it Tamil??) Or do they mention it in your neighbourhood maybe?
Is it a kind of melody that dogs react to?i don't remember hearing cats purring.But the dogs go frantic when the truck passes by.
I think there has to be an explanation because it happens EVERY TIME.

The Art of Gazing.

Whenever you go out,be it a social gathering,a stroll in the mall,driving,partying,events..etc..etc.. Basically any activity that involves people within your social surrounding.
Does your eyes constantly move about as though your surveying the people that walks by?
You find yourself watching people
and what they wear,what they do,
how they look,
how they walk,

and the list can probably go on forever.

What is the reason behind this activity?

Apparently,there's a difference in staring, gazing and looking. Out of curiosity, I 'dictionary.com-ed' these words:

.Gaze- to look steadily and intently, as with great curiosity, interest, pleasure, or wonder.

.Look- to turn one's eyes toward something or in some direction in order to see

.Stare- to gaze fixedly and intently, esp. with the eyes wide open.

The reason behind this quest is to find out whether there's difference in the way we look at other people. Based on the definition above, Is it possible to continue looking at people in the 'right' way? Perhaps gazing and staring can turn out to be rather rude. How about 'catching a glimpse'?

Urgh,i hate the ambiguity of language.

The problem with this so-called 'nature' our human beings is that where is the boundary between respect and rudeness?We think that watching people is such a normal phenomenon that we believe that there is absolutely nothing wrong with looking.You find guys staring at girls all the time.Of course,nowadays girls are very much involve in this act of gazing as well.

People are SO OBSESSED with the guy-girl relationship.

Girls obsessed with guys.
Guys obsessed with girls.
To me, the pathetic thing about this nature is that when you do not know when and how to draw a border line.
There seems to be a whole different language between man and woman that we engage in, which does not require the verbal part.
I wonder, is it possible to not look at all?
Is it because we're constantly searching for something thus, our search is evident through our eyes?
Is there even a right or wrong to this activity?
Should i even be pondering about this notion?
I guess there's another meaning to this.
That our attention is NEVER directly towards one person/object/situation.
We have the tendency to branch out our interest into many other dimensions.
If one shall argue that this is a completely natural element of our system, then i would argue that there should be a level of control,whereby you are aware of the fact that many times, this act can be rather rude or disrespectful.
(if u do it wrongly)
When i say wrongly, i mean, Do you DARE share what goes on in your head whenever your looking at a person? Yes,those hidden thoughts of yours, which you do not say out loud.
It is one thing to use our eyes and it is also another when it involves our mind.
Our train of thoughts.

Or simply,when you with someone else/other people (eg:having a conversation),does this act of gazing make you forget the importance of EYE CONTACT during a conversation??
But then again,who is going to be there to judge you for it,other than yourself?
The only person who can make you feel bad about it is probably your husband/wife or girlfriend/boyfriend.
Other than that,i don't see anyone else who has the right to make a person feel bad about it.
Because,in the end of the day, apparently, there is nothing wrong with it....


*Vibe-Tori Amos
*Picture-Deviantart

Marriage.

...what ever happened to the gaze between two pair of eyes, whilst exchanging their everlasting vows with one another?

Too caught up with the ceremonies.

Too occupied with the rituals.

Too concerned with the impressions.

Perspectives.
gossips.

Opinions.

Conformity.

Everything else but the both of you.

Why make promises that holds emptiness?

Why assure honesty when the basis is from a lie?

...what ever happened to the simplicity in life, merely 'staring into each other's eyes'?

a) Naive.
-because this is the realistic view of human relationship.

b) Choices (be it 'right' or 'wrong').
-because people are simply trying to live up to society's expectations.

*Picture courtesy of Deviantart collection.

A Joke.

Pathetic.

6 Sense.

How many of you have friends/acquaintances/family/ or simply someone who are 'psychics'?

From what i know, these people are suppose to have a unique ability to for-see certain things (in the past,present,future) which relates to your life.
i don't know if its called predictions.
fortune telling??
tarot readings.

Anyhow, according to our online source Wikipedia, "Psychic" is a word used to describe an occurrence, ability, or event that is sensed without the use of the five known human senses of sight, hearing, taste, touch and smell.

I ponder about the '"event" that is sensed'. i mean, how does it work?
how do the 'vision' come by and how does it even look like?
what's scary is when you meet these people (despite the cynicism in your head), they always catch you off guard by mentioning something (either symbols,person,objects,metaphors,etc..) that relates to you. (in which you have kept inside of you for a long time)

the result?
occasional goose-bumps,
shivers,
angry remarks in the head( HOW THE F DID U KNOW THAT??),
insecurity,
doubts,
shock,
racing heart-beats,
nervous twitching..

to me..
it is ultimate CONFUSION.

One side of your life you try so hard to rationalize every single event in your life.despite the sentimental features in you, you still TRY to reason with life.
why?
To keep you sane,
to stand on our grounds,
to persist our journey,
to skip the agonizing emotional trips,
to allow clearer judgements,
more importantly, to move forward.
Skepticism has done nothing but criticize this ambiguous phenomenon.

But then what does this mean anyway?
that our lives are pre-destined already?that its just the matter of following the tracks?
that something or someone out there has everything laid down before us?
that we all have a PLAN.

But apparently, when it comes to these 'spiritual' events (what do u call it anyway?I don't think its spiritual), you're suppose to "take it with a pinch of salt".

okay,fair enough.
It seems pretty impossible to let it dominate your life anyway.

I wonder..
If your life path ended up in a different route in comparison to what you have been told, isn't it suppose to be due to our life choices?
or was it because we missed out on the opportunities?
denied our 'destiny'? (don't get me started on the word destiny)
made the wrong moves(decisions)?
didn't take the right steps?

or.......................
was it because we never really placed our 'believes' in ourselves?
"Faith", they say.

It becomes to difficult to hold on to something that is physically not there, but yet plays a huge role in our minds.Faith.
What is it anyway?

i guess the only thing you can do when someone throws you 'your future', is to listen. (react however you want)
and, take it as your guidelines.
to motivate or inspire you.
because think about, if you question the information given, you would someone try to evaluate and test it yourself..
To find out whether you will achieve it, whether it is YOU in 5 years time.
We all have our own goals and aims,
that should be sufficient,right?

i end with this:

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHh.....................................................

Vibe: Reverie-Theatre of Tragedy

What is insanity?

Ponder:
Would the world be a better place if mankind are subjected to unconditional autonomy?
Not simply cheap talk of 'freedom' or 'independence'.
But the right to act and behave as they please.
If there was one particular reality I long to engage in is..
the 'crazy' dude who just passed by your car.
muttering.
cursing.
blabbing.
smiling.
laughing.
shouting.
the bloke who has probably never changed his outfit for days.
heck,months.
the woman who does a kung-fu stance in the middle of the street (whilst facing her opponent:the stray dog)
the person who dares to stare at you like there's no tomorrow.
in which u probably don't have the balls to return the gaze.
the man who fulfills the similar task as our 'faithful' MPPJ buddies.
picking up your shits.
never gets paid like the others.
finding joy in your trash.
their version of assets i guess.
what's important to you, is bullshit to them.
question is, are they truly so distant,
so far away from the 'normal' society?
or, are they a reflection of 'free-willy'?
merely a representation of your hidden 'freedom'?

*thought: freedom= overrated.idealistic for most.

~Vibe: Ministry of Sound: 2002 Ibiza chill-out.

Explosion.

R-u-n...

running at a fast pace,

feel your heart thumping.

B-b-Beating..

tearing your chest open.

Climb...

Up the hill,

feel your legs stinging.

Aching..*pant*

muscles tightening.

Reach the peak..
survey around.
no one else but you,
and 'world' you know of.
Everything else distant.

SCREAAAAmmm.....!

Scream.

scream.

scream so loud..

SO piercing..

Roar if you must.

no room for the monotonousness.

Till you're breathless.

Out of air.

*gasping*

Feel your throat burning.

Voice cracking.

Tears streaming..

Head pounding.

Body static.

Face numbed.

Today, you live.

*all graphics are taken from a range of sources.unless stated otherwise.

~Vibe: Theatre of Tragedy

a-n-g-e-r.

for what is kept away.

for the perennial curiosity.

for the undying need to know.

for the ludicrousness.

for the tolerance.

for the ambiguity.

for the stupidity.

for the unnecessary emotions.

for the irony.

for the truth that is not met.

for the weakness.

for the queasiness.

for sanity.

*words for storytelling.

Keep Breathing, and stand a chance to win 'Life choices'.

"You just wanne be sad"
..does the sentence ring a bell?

Ladies and gentlemen,presentinggg....the 'Make-your-own-Reality" game show.
The game is fairly simple.
First of all, audiences need to understand the main objectives of this game:

To shape and mold one's life,in other words,creating a favorable version of reality.

Upon participation, here are some of the rules of the game:

-Reality is a myth,it is a non-physical feature in which we are able to grasp,analyze and modify.
-What you desire will be derived through the simple process of imagination,determination and faith.
-what you despise or fear will only come to haunt you so long as you believe in it.
-The positive energy will result to satisfying opportunities, achievements and awards.
-the negative energy will slam you with an additional weight of disastrous events.
-Feelings are merely a state of mind, whereby you are the master of the game.

When you indulge too much, when you bear to much comfort in where u hide, you have successfully created your own barrier..
Which stops you from crossing the borders.
Borders that keeps you 'safe' from what is 'wrong'.
Barb wires that secludes you from the 'outside'.
Walls that trap you away from the beyond ordinary.
One becomes stagnant.

standing motionless.

you become lost and bluntly unaware that things in life still passes by.
With or without you.

The trick of the game is simple apparently...
you are what you make of yourself.
you form your very own self.
You create your own tracks to walk on.

So,if you're currently stuck somewhere,somewhere,somehow out there...snap out of it..

No one if going to stop for you, so keep moving..

*note: -Writing is fiction.

-and As always, actions speak louder than words.