Medicate me

..for my inability to maintain focus.
..for my constant ability to digress.
i wish i could just go to the pharmacy and find some pills labeled "assignment dilemma".
and just swallow it and then magically type out all these words.
it's a form of sickness,
*grin*
so why not, riggghhhttttt?

May Tiga Belas

Recently got interviewed about May 13.
Such a happy picture.Don't ask why.
hehe.

clickity-click

I meant a lot of the things I said in there,probably just worded differently. It's pretty interesting to see what this generation has to say about the 'forgotten-incident'. :)

"toleration is over-rated, let's celebrate differences"

Cloud 9

You just got to love morning-sunrise flights,right?On a recent flight to Kota Bharu, I was absolutely amazed by the view of clouds, as the sun was rising. It was like a layer of white-cotton hovering over the mountains. I could almostt....make a plunge for it. (though i know that the outcome will not be like our favourite-bouncy Care Bears, I'll probably just fall to my death)

ANYWAY, i want to share these pictures.....
..as the plane moved its way up higher,i couldnt help but poke my head close to the windows to spot a blanket of clouds far ahead.
..true enough, we got so close, it was so beautifulll.....untuk melihat"awan berkepul-kepul"..
*dreams away~*

An Awesome Job?

Pretty similar to that Australia dream job promo lately.Except, this is on a VINEYARD!I checked all the details (and even watched some of the video's by the applicants,hehe). but then I figured that they are only looking for those within the United States.

SO SEDIH, okay.
But come and dream away like how I did:

CLICK

W T F

Was randomly searching online,typed in "work abroad" on Google and found this in my search results:

Working Abroad - Malaysian Babes Forum

u wanna work abroad or just to get away from msia ? if it's the 2nd option, then register urself to the 'marry msian girls' website lor... they will help u ...
www.malaysianbabes.net/forum/Working-Abroad-t2062.html - 128k - Cached - Similar pages -


seriously?

snuggled up the pillows.

it gets easy when you find those comfort spots where you lay safe and sound.
regardless whether its relied upon the presence of others,
or the solitary being.
whichever way seems to work because the body gets used to the situation.
we move accordingly, and feelings are never too much.
everything remains familiar and recognized.
some call it the act of hiding away while some finds it the source of its functionality.
when something new strikes along, we find all these excuses to resist its possibility.
it seems that logic and reason becomes a barrier, a disguised theory to our skepticism.
when did we get so afraid of the natural flow of events,
that we have to warn ourselves ever-so religiously
before we take the next steps?

eventually...

..they walk away..

Mazal Tov

I remember seeing this couple back in Key West and was absolutely amazed by the connection they had with each other.Not only was it crazy,but i could see the sincerity when they locked eyes. She spoke about making a trip down to Asia one day, which left me in awe! And then finally, the crazy couple made it here.I saw pictures of them in India and then they invited me to meet them in Thailand.Unfortunately I was stuck here back then,i regret not meeting them for sure, but at least i knew they were happy..
It's people like this that gives a warm hug to our faith and believes, not necessarily in hopes of being like them. But simply to witness it before your eyes....
I guess I understand why K got emotionally when looking into the pictures, cause i have to admit, amidst my big-smile was a silent tear of joy...

Congratulation Idit and Joshua, you are amazing individuals combined into a beautiful couple~

Strawberry Fields Forever

I don't know if it was the year of fulfilling my wants that had led me to these cross junctions, which look like dead-ends to me. All the mental and emotional preparations regarding the predicted consequences were thought to be executed in the best manner. All the strength trained to be possessed keeps disappearing on me.

I remember being greatly affected by the words of Foucault, even till this very day. And then today i encounter yet another moment, which left a bitter-twitch to my face. when you learn about the mechanisms behind the media that we live with everyday, you can't help but wonder; where should you stand within all of these dominance?

Imagine when MTV's profit hit a billion,they knew that their target market was precisely the youth of today. And when along the years the rating went a little further down, (because it seemed that the viewers felt that it was no longer COOL and hence,were not into their programmings anymore), MTV discovered that in order to keep their viewer's ratings on top, they had to figure out what was cool/not cool within the youths of today. Market researchers make extensive studies in determining what these kids actually like or don't. They needed to grasp onto the trends that followed their lifestyles.

It disgust me that the richest of the world are generating their income through the masses. Sure, you can argue that its a form of choice,that people have the liberty of choosing their preference of media materials. But no matter how variable the preferences can get, we will always be serving to the pockets of somebody. Even if you were not just a viewer, contributing to these corporations are merely ways of keeping the system going.
We are functioning their wants, because they claim to function our needs.
Given that our needs can be products of study, where do i place the meaning of my needs?
you can't run away, neither can you be excluded from this entire machine.
you comfort yourself, saying that its okay, as long as I live my life in a way that its meaningful through my understandings..

I remember a friend saying this during the screening of 'Running' at the Annexe, that "it's just easier to pretend that it's not there, to just ignore what is happening".

and then you know what The Beatles sang? "Living is easy with eyes closed"....

Temporary Endings

..because sometimes its just easier to put an end to these processes you endure,when you never really fully understood the reasoning behind them in the first place.
Its common to be trained into these routines that will eventually lead you to a point where you just want to 'break-free'.
The need for 'escape' only comes around the moment you find yourself so deeply absorb within the world of fulfillment.

..because somehow,when i observe the patterns of my thoughts, the depth is most prominent during times of responsibilities.

..this song.

Another night
Wonder what is happening
I see inside
Everything's nonsensecal

And we hang from wires of different sizes
Irresponsibly
When we cut the lines
It hurts us more and more

It never happens
The way you want
Let it happen
We can fall

Try to delay this condition
Until you, define your state of permission
Don't suffer for every conviction
You've got to, defy your state of permission

This love like glass
Sloding on another pain
I let it pass
To return again and again

Yeah it's never wasted energy
I's all transferrable
We can burn inside
'Till we can breathe again

It doesn't happen
The way you want
Let it happen
We can fall

Try to delay this condition
Untill you, define your state of permission
Don't suffer for every conviction
You've got to, defy your state of permission

for those who bothers to listen:
shinichi osawa~state of permission.