..an Addiction.

thanks to an unusual outing yesterday,i discovered this tune..and he was right..the lyrics are beautiful..
There's nothing sweeter than an addiction to a melody..
a tune..
it gives you a special kinda feeling..especially when the package comes with meaningful lyrics..
It takes u into another world,possibly an imaginary one..yet,extremely desirable..
makes you want to fly away..literally.
makes you want to share this 'feel' with that someone..
that longing..
the taste..
"is it love"...
I urge you to come into my illusionary world and enjoy the vibes from the music~

-Panic Mode-

Is it REALLY 2 more days to show-time?
FUCK.fuck.fuck.fuck.
this assignment is already banging me in the head.
everything is a mess.Talk about drama.
Screw drama people.why do you even bother??

i NEED to pull myself together.
i need energy.
i need strength.
i need.
I need.

Running at a fast pace
Never-ending attempts.
Phobia.
F-e-a-r.
Insecurity.
Momentary feelings.
Merely a phase.

The agony?
Its the process.
the journey.
Walking on shattered glasses.
Pain.
Blood.
cuts.
bruise.
You never stop.

..Where do we stand?

..bali.. I realize that I'm attracted to pictures that portrays some short of infinity.i mean,i took these pictures on various occasions,without realizing it!The ultimate unknown(Ooo..).The never-ending route(Ahh..).A place that leaves us standing no-where(..uhuh..).Before the break of dawn,standing outside on the (so-called) balcony,such utter silence.everything seems to still--trees are not moving,streets are empty..the only thing that's apparently 'there' are the streetlights,occasional dog howling and cats,well,miaowing?*ha ha*.This silence bug the shit out of me.
i mean,where the hell do we stand.The past,present or future?

..Iran.. You would think that you're currently standing in the present,but then you constantly hear Ur thoughts pacing up and down your head,and when you actually make the effort to identify your flow of thoughts,you realize that the things that your thinking about either comprises of your past (events that continue to bug you till this very day,without you realizing,possibly,very often--ignored),and the future(things your 'suppose' to do,unfinished tasks,hopes,dreams,aims...blah,blah..)

Dammit,but i thought we're suppose to be living in the present?Is that even possible?

..P.j.. i mean,what shapes your reality?you think Ur living in reality but when you try to evaluate what goes on within yourself,what can you come up with?it's all so...*vague*,plenty of uncertainties,doubts..worries. Countless times people say 'get busy' with the things that you have to do..responsibilities and such.

But how long can it distract you?then again,distract you from what?'thinking?'.that's insane,can't run away from thoughts. probably 10 years ago you would think that "hey,maybe when i get to my twenties,I'll be far too busy with my life agendas" that maybe,just maybe..you'll stop yourself from worrying,just for a second.

ha!naive thoughts.Tsk.tsk.

..Morocco..Thanks Aina..

Today,i wonder: Where the hell are we now?

..klPac..

"Morning has Broken.."

...when i was little i remember waking up in the mornings with this horrible and sickening feeling in my stomach.i mean i could never figure out what the hell does the feeling mean.it was usually one of those feelings u get on Sunday nights(cause the following day would be Monday,the first day of school).i thought over the years i would have overcome that 'feeling'.Possibly become one of those people who LOVE the mornings,who find 'beauty' in waking up,well,i find that most mornings I'd rather not wake up.forever if i could.(okay,too morbid)..how i do i even explain it.okay,imagine opening your eyes,and realizing,"it's another day today"...what's worst is when you have absolutely nothing to look forward to.sure,u have responsibilities,tasks,things-to-do..etc..etc..i mean,which is worst?waking up to so much to do or waking up to absolutely nothing to do.after you open your eyes and realize that there's this repugnant feeling dominating your whole body..what do u do?well,usually the body can react in so many ways..for one,its impossible to go back to sleep cause' there's too much fear inside.there's the squinting of the eyes,toss and turning,twitching stomach,rapid breathing..etc..etc..all of em' ball-ed down to one word:DISCOMFORT!so,if you're one of those people who wakes up with chirping birds and butterflies flapping all over your room.Back off.or better yet,release some of em' into my room cause there's nothing worst than to wake up to this 'feeling'..i guess that's why at times its pretty nice to have someone sleeping beside you..a companion..a somebody..that way when u wake up..and u see that person next to u..u can smile to yourself and cuddle up...and go back to sleep.or there is an alternative that is if u put on one of your happy playlist on your media player and slowly find your way to sanity along with the melodies.or u could wake up extremely late for class/work/appointment and rush like no body's business,that way,there's no room for that 'feeling'.or maybe,those who actually have motives and purposes in their lives..agendas or responsibilities..they too can be occupied enough.but then again,there are those who simply live based on their emotions...who can't run away from their emotionality's...thus,where does that leave them?no point reminiscing on the past--back to the good o' days whereby despite that 'feeling',u end up going to school..play with ur friends,eat,play again,nap..and whatever it is that kids then use to do..the feeling dissolves...but i guess as u get older,Ur much more aware of Ur well-being..of every feeling that comes and go...so this morning 'feeling' is probably here to stay..till the day that you can reach serenity perhaps..peace,calm,happiness..even though its temporary,but its worth getting away even for just a second..urgh,good morning world.

I'm sure by now 'most' of you should know about this 'thing' which i have been trying to promote.YES,a play!Me?again!(yay?)..come watch..support..whatever u please..just as long as u contribute in filling up the space of Pentas 2,I'm all good.okay,fine,ofcourse i would want you to enjoy the show as well.Spead the word/Love people...Spank u.

SCREWED
by The Oral Stage

The Oral Stage enters its fourth season with an all-new line-up of original shorts and monologues, a contemporary take on the timeless issues of identity, gender, relationships, meaning and purpose. Screwed reinforces the fact that being human is nothing short of being screwed, after all.

Established in 2004, TOS is a youth arts company dedicated to arts empowerment through education, events and performances. Now in its third year, TOS is housed by The Dram Projects studio in Petaling Jaya and is supported by the arts community. Its members comprise of young, aspiring youth from all walks of life who band together to prove that arts is, for everyone. We're nowhere near defunct just yet.

This season's ensemble stars Waimin Lee, Emily Yoon, Doreen Loo, Gary Ooi , Branavan Aruljothi, Christine Ellis, Prakash Gopalakrishnan, Lam Wai Yee, Batsheba Zlikha Arsalan, Erin Victor, Nick Davis, Rachel Lai MS and Elza Irdalynna . Directed by Kelvin Wong and produced by Christine Ellis.

Pieces written by Joyce Hooi, Gary Ooi, Davina Goh, Priya K., Gavin Yap, Patricia Low, Doreen Loo, Kelvin Wong and Rauf Fadzilla.

Supported by The Dram Projects, KLPac and The Actors Studio.

Pentas 2
The Kuala Lumpur Performing Arts Centre (KLPac)
Sentul Park, Jalan Strachan
51100 Kuala Lumpur
April 19th – 22nd 2007 @ 8.30 pm
with additional shows on
April 21st – 22nd 2007 @ 3.00 pm

Tickets (includes handling fee) @ KLPac
RM27 (Adults)
RM17 (Students, senior citizens & the disabled)

The Actors Studio Greenhall, Penang
Ground Floor, Zhong Zheng School Memorial Centre
32, Lebuh Light, 10200 Penang
May 4th 2007 @ 8.30 pm
May 5th 2007 @ 3.00 pm & 8.30 pm
May 6th 2007 @ 3.00 pm

Tickets @ TAS Greenhall, Penang
RM25 (Adults)
RM15 (Students, senior citizens & the disabled)

Ticket Contact
KLPac @ 03-40479000
TAS Greenhall @ 04-2635400

Websitehttp://theoralstage.blogspot.com

Here are 'some' of the things we do during our free time at rehearsals.Yes,we POSE.

...Brana and his priceless expression and erm...El,being 'hanged'?

Some kinda creepy similarity in their hairstyles (and no,kelvin you shouldn't really be there,but oh,well..)..and here's a suprise to all...this is E 'then'..

...this is E today.haha.respects.

Rachel??Blogging?Whuttt.......??

Oh my goodness..This is my first blog and for many years i have been pretty critical about bloggers. Hmph,talk about hypocrisy but then again..Why bother repudiating hypocrisy when the self is a living example of it?It gets pretty tiring to lie to yourself especially when u have been participating in it for a long,long time. I mean i use to think that bloggers are just a bunch of weaklings who CRIES for attention,who's desperate to be heard(given that they're socially isolated within their own surroundings).See i told you that i was cynical about bloggers.I use to think that its pathetic to blurt out your inner thoughts and sorrow to a bunch of people who either don't or do exist.i think it is called the virtual community.Maybe its because our physical lives itself in which we go through everyday is simply not enough for us.We need love,we need attention,we need to know that "hey,maybe there ARE other people out there who's on the same boat as us"..thus,the feeling of comfort,security..ease?i don't know.i honestly think of it as weakness,but then again,that's pretty much the same perception i have in many other things.We criticize,insult,look down,BITCH!,whatever u call it,about almost EVERYTHING in our lives.Let's face it..People LOVE to complain,people NEED to moan,people...just need to break and fall at times..cause if you don't,how else would you stand up again and re-build yourself?see,i told you people love to crap alot..I'm babbling now.and i 'think' i have an audience,someone listening,some to hear me out.Therefore,i continue to 'speak' as though something or someone out there is listening to me tentatively.Urgh,human beings are SO feeble.i am feeble.
Then again,maybe i created this blog today because I'm feeling extra vulnerable today.urgh,can you see how tiring it is to debate with your own self?With that,I'm gonna give myself a lil credit for even 'attempting' to create a blog.There's too much that's unsaid,too many left aside..maybe i need this,i don't know.Even the thought of you reading whatever it is that I'm typing makes me angry.but yet,I'm still typing..Forget it,Let's just see how far this journey can go..