Babel

..was such an amazing movie.The music lifts you off your feet.Makes your mind wander off..This song do not need words to describe..The melody gives you such an amazing feeling.solemn.numb.nostalgic.thoughtful.dreaming.........there is many 'worlds' out there i have not laid my eyes on......too many versions of reality to seek out for.Too many untouched experiences..

Monday.

*yawn*

Peeks through the curtains.

Crawls back to bed.

*groan*

Spinning Away

Reunion with an Old time favourite..

"Up on a hill
as the day dissolves
With my pencil turning moments into life
One by one, all the stars appear
As the great winds of the planet spiral in
Spinning away, like the night sky
In the million insect storm, the constellations form
On a hill, under a raven sky
I have no idea exactly where I've been
Some kind of change, some kind of spinning away
With every single line moving further out in time
Spinning away, like the night sky
I have no idea exactly where I've been
And here, or there
And here, or there
some kind of spinning away.."

L-O-V-E.

*Taken fr unknown source

Role Playing

Fascinating...

..that our everyday life is almost as if it represents a stage performance.(personally,i think IT IS a staged act).One moment you find yourself contented with the familiarity you have with you inner thoughts and principles. The next moment, you find yourself behaving in ways that you never thought you would.
At various occasions we own different masks and costumes to play around with.
You...did many things which was very questionable.
You began to make jokes which you once thought was extremely un-funny.
You started to engage in games(not literally) you thought you would never play.
You started giving a shit about unnecessary issues.
You got caught-up with the 'in-thing'--simply to blend in with others.
You participated in activities that was never really in your list of interest.
You spoke--and the words that came out was merely what the other person wanted to hear.
You smiled and laughed--and you realize that the joy was never really there.

You knew which person to be at the right moment.
Adaptation they say.
We are 'animals' after all aren't we?

Sadly...

...that eventually acting becomes a 'job' we find ourselves committed to.
when you try to hard to maintain what you think you know of yourself..you realize that that ' thing' you held on to was nothing but fragility.
Suddenly, in the midst of your daily activities,you paused for a moment.Stepped out of the situation and look down upon your own being.
..and you say, "oh...my..gosh....when did i become this person..."

...that 'role playing' is ideally one of human's talent.
you become confused of whether there is a real or fake after all.
you get carried away that it becomes an addiction to 'be somebody else'.
you use it as a tool to get away with things or simply, for self-advantage.
you gain paranoia and suspicion of the world around you.
you gain the power to create emotions at different places and time.

...that there's a possibility that in the end of the day,we are all here just to make USE of each other.
In so many ways----for self-interest.
Think hard.

I guess one does not really need to attend acting classes if ever interested in drama lessons.
All you have to do is to look within your inner-self......

"Rain drops keep falling on my head.."

What is it about the rain?
that leaves one feeling nostalgic,
reflective,
slow,
dreamy,
thoughtful,
emotional,
empty.
sleepy?
Is it about the weather that's cold,wet and moist?
Or the sound of the wind howling its way through the window gaps?
It is raining now.
Staring out into the nothingness but heavy drizzles and forceful winds.
What is it about weathers and how it affects a person mood-radar?
The atmosphere plays our feelings.
Its day-time brought into darkness by the rainfall.
On a Sunday.
No one is one the street.Very little cars roaming on the road.
On one end you have the homeless person taking cover under a shop lot.
You have the motorcyclists who forgot to bring their raincoats,huddled under a highway bridge.
you have the happy family cruising to their destination around 50-60km/h.
you have those without transport,waiting patiently at the bus stop or taxi stands.
The ones at home?
Just lay back, quit questioning and enjoy the image you see.
Rainfall is a peculiar thing.Everything out there becomes different.
Just as how different the world would be without light.
As to how different it is now when everything is wet.

Turning Point.

*Picture courtesy of Deviantart user.

During school days they taught the poem "The Road Not Taken".Basically the story about the route,and how it branches out into a fork-road.The choices made,shall be one which is not regrettable.Within the time span of your life,you find that on many occasions, you have chosen to settle in your little nest.We very often address as our 'comfort zone'.
Question is,what becomes to that guarded spot of yours when you see a range of choices up ahead?Not just choices about what colour of shoes to wear,how should you do you hair,what should you eat today..blah,BLAH,blah.
We're talking about decisions that are bound to change your life.
The turning points.
No matter how much you try to run away from it.No matter how hard you try to avoid the upcoming events.No matter how far you run...
It becomes inevitable.
How does one attempt to crawl out from a self-made hole?
There are two perspectives on this.
You have people who LOVE changes.who craves for it.who seeks for it.who desires it.
You have people who HATE changes.who runs away.Who lives in denial.who lie to themselves.who lives in fear.
But in the first place,should there even be a room for one to have preferences?
Is it merely a life event instilled within our systems?
But I thought humans by nature have the ability to control their lives through decision-making processes.
So does that mean that when a person 'chooses' to stay in one spot, it becomes possible?
I guess to a certain extend, is it possible.The reason why this 'choice' never works out is because EVERYTHING else around you is constantly changing. In their respective paces.
Eventually,people become pressured by society's expectations..patterns..rules..basically the way 'normal' things should work.


I guess when the time comes, one has no choice but to make decisions.The agony is probably the process you go through before the choice is made.The insecurity,doubt,paranoia,assumptions...etc..etc..
Lets face it, we can never be TOO careful with how we live our lives.Its logical to be cautious about your driving skills, but is that applicable when it comes to life events?
Because after all, when the moment of change begins,you find yourself flowing smoothly..As though the previous days of worries and drama was nothing but unnecessary stress.

Your Evil Soul

These pills aren't working anymore
My guts are spilling out onto the floor
of a nightmare you wouldn't believe
of a nightmare you could not conceive of
You're floating above my head
There are words carved in my chest
and they said,
"Could somebody show me the kind of affection
that you only see in the movies, you know what I mean"

I will suck the elixir from your fingertips
Until I feel my head starts caving in
My mouth will overflow with your evil soul
And I'll be convulsing for days in this hole
Bubbling at the lips that you used to love to kiss
Well, I think I'm trying to wake up, but I can't

These pills aren't working anymore
My eyes are gouged out and rolling under the door
It blacks out the nightmare you wouldn't believe
a nightmare you could not conceive of

You're floating above my head
There are words carved in my chest
and they said,
"Could somebody show me the kind of affection
that you only see in the movies, you know what I mean... you know what I mean"

I will suck the elixir from your fingertips
Until I feel my head starts caving in
My mouth will overflow with your evil soul
And I'll be convulsing for days in this hole
Bubbling at the lips

I know you never meant to do everything you put me through
It's okay I forgive you
Just know that when you see me cringe sometimes
I'm trying to rid the poison from my mind

I know you never meant to do everything you put me through
It's okay I forgive you
Just know that when you see me cringe sometimes
I'm trying to rid the poison from my mind

I will suck the elixir from your fingertips
Until I feel my head starts caving in
My mouth will overflow with your evil soul
And I'll be convulsing for days in this hole

*its just a song..

The Girl from Ipanema

It begins,and sweeps you off your feet..Takes you far away..I imagine a beach again,during Late sunset...Not too dark,not too bright..I see candles floating..I see vibrant and sexy colours..I see happy smiles..Genuine smiles that speaks serenity..I see body movements..swaying..Curling your toes beneath the warmth of the sand..I see beauty..The smell of the salty sea..The breeze..I see Life.Away from the hustle.Distant traffic nuisance..I see my imaginations.

"Old Newspaper, Old newspaper"

Why is it that every time the 'old newspaper' truck passes by the neighbourhood...dogs start to howl?
I mean,is it just me or is it true that there's a distinctive pattern in these dog howling?
Is there some sort of creepy message that come from that "old newspaper,sai tau po chi,surat khabar lama" tune??(another question: how come they don't mention in it Tamil??) Or do they mention it in your neighbourhood maybe?
Is it a kind of melody that dogs react to?i don't remember hearing cats purring.But the dogs go frantic when the truck passes by.
I think there has to be an explanation because it happens EVERY TIME.

The Art of Gazing.

Whenever you go out,be it a social gathering,a stroll in the mall,driving,partying,events..etc..etc.. Basically any activity that involves people within your social surrounding.
Does your eyes constantly move about as though your surveying the people that walks by?
You find yourself watching people
and what they wear,what they do,
how they look,
how they walk,

and the list can probably go on forever.

What is the reason behind this activity?

Apparently,there's a difference in staring, gazing and looking. Out of curiosity, I 'dictionary.com-ed' these words:

.Gaze- to look steadily and intently, as with great curiosity, interest, pleasure, or wonder.

.Look- to turn one's eyes toward something or in some direction in order to see

.Stare- to gaze fixedly and intently, esp. with the eyes wide open.

The reason behind this quest is to find out whether there's difference in the way we look at other people. Based on the definition above, Is it possible to continue looking at people in the 'right' way? Perhaps gazing and staring can turn out to be rather rude. How about 'catching a glimpse'?

Urgh,i hate the ambiguity of language.

The problem with this so-called 'nature' our human beings is that where is the boundary between respect and rudeness?We think that watching people is such a normal phenomenon that we believe that there is absolutely nothing wrong with looking.You find guys staring at girls all the time.Of course,nowadays girls are very much involve in this act of gazing as well.

People are SO OBSESSED with the guy-girl relationship.

Girls obsessed with guys.
Guys obsessed with girls.
To me, the pathetic thing about this nature is that when you do not know when and how to draw a border line.
There seems to be a whole different language between man and woman that we engage in, which does not require the verbal part.
I wonder, is it possible to not look at all?
Is it because we're constantly searching for something thus, our search is evident through our eyes?
Is there even a right or wrong to this activity?
Should i even be pondering about this notion?
I guess there's another meaning to this.
That our attention is NEVER directly towards one person/object/situation.
We have the tendency to branch out our interest into many other dimensions.
If one shall argue that this is a completely natural element of our system, then i would argue that there should be a level of control,whereby you are aware of the fact that many times, this act can be rather rude or disrespectful.
(if u do it wrongly)
When i say wrongly, i mean, Do you DARE share what goes on in your head whenever your looking at a person? Yes,those hidden thoughts of yours, which you do not say out loud.
It is one thing to use our eyes and it is also another when it involves our mind.
Our train of thoughts.

Or simply,when you with someone else/other people (eg:having a conversation),does this act of gazing make you forget the importance of EYE CONTACT during a conversation??
But then again,who is going to be there to judge you for it,other than yourself?
The only person who can make you feel bad about it is probably your husband/wife or girlfriend/boyfriend.
Other than that,i don't see anyone else who has the right to make a person feel bad about it.
Because,in the end of the day, apparently, there is nothing wrong with it....


*Vibe-Tori Amos
*Picture-Deviantart